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Stef and the City

Monthly Archives: September 2013

How to Meet Someone This Fall: Passive vs. Active

A lot of people don’t realize that there is a difference between passive and active dating practices. Intuitively, passive practices involve an introverted approach to socializing, while active practices involve the extroverted approach of taking initiative and charge of your social life. The problem with a passive method is that it is a quick-fix. You may feel like you are doing something, but if you just sit back and wait, nothing is going to happen.

1) Don’t expect that just being in a database or telling people on the fly that you are single will lead to meeting someone. It’s important to always find ways to keep yourself busy while you are waiting for someone who might be a great match for you! Meeting new people and taking an active approach (especially as your friends get married and you are still single) is important in dating.

2) Sign up for events that you have to pay for and commit to. If you sign up for something that is free, then you are most likely taking a passive approach because the commitment expectation is low of who may attend. Joining sports league like Chicago Sports and Social   or joining anything that allows you to expand your interests and meet new people is being active towards finding someone.

3) If you are on an online dating site, write to people daily. In online dating, for example, there are both passive and active approaches. Sites where you sign up and wait for matches to come to you are an easy way to fall into a passive method. Sitting around hoping someone will message you and arrange a date is not always the most effective way to meet someone.

4) Sign up for Meetup.com and use websites likes Eventbrite. An active approach involves signing up for groups where you are guaranteed to meet people. Making an account with meetup.com is a great way to meet people with similar interests. If you want to take a slightly passive approach, use websites like Eventbrite, that allow you to browse upcoming events so that you are able to pick and choose what fits best for you. Now You Know Events is another company that does a great job of notifying you of fun things to do in the area. Once you sign up for groups, you can sit passively because you have taken steps to meet people that are concrete and practical. Another way to actively approach your dating life is to sign up for sporting groups because this is the perfect time of year to get involved! 

5) Don’t forget to talk to people in your daily life. Start a conversation on the El or bus or at the gym. Every type you talk to someone it offers you an opportunity to find out information or to meet a new friend, or maybe a date!A lot of people don’t realize that there is a difference between passive and active dating practices. Intuitively, passive practices involve an introverted approach to socializing, while active practices involve the extroverted approach of taking initiative and charge of your social life. The problem with a passive method is that it is a quick-fix. You may feel like you are doing something, but if you just sit back and wait, nothing is going to happen.

Active approaches may take a little extra effort, but it’s worth it in the end. Invest that extra effort, and you will be rewarded!